|My wonderful mother and I.|
My mother and father are one of the greatest things in my life. They helped me restore my faith in family and in love. My parents took me in, taught me how to trust and how to love. And that if I wanted to accomplish something; all I had to do was work hard and be tenacious. My parents taught me the meaning of hard work. I never understood before. I remember thinking to myself, that I couldn't achieve the things that I wanted. And I never thought that I could would amount to anything. Of course I was a dinky twelve year old. That had to grow up quickly, and stay that way.
I remember the first time that I truly trusted my father. And I mean dove in and was completely honest. It was the time that my father asked me to tell him what had happened when I was a little girl. With my biological family. Now at this point I am a little girl that for some reason I felt like I had a time bomb on me. Every 5 years; I moved to another place. Another "home". But the truth is it wasn't my home. I finally made it home when I was 12.
When I began to talk to my father about the abuse that I suffered. And I suffered physically, emotionally, and verbally. I was in tears. Every time I talk about what happened in detail. I relive it. And its very difficult. I was terrified that my father would judge me or not want me in his home. There seemed to be so much controversy from others with my parents taking in a troubled 12 year old girl. But I didn't hold back. Maybe it was the tears that filled his eyes, or that I could tell he felt my heart break all over again. But I trusted this man. He was the first man, I ever trusted. And I am so grateful for it. He helped know what I wanted in a husband and in a father. And he truly is my father.
My mother is my best friend. She gets me. And she is an amazing person. My mother is my confidant. She and I can talk for hours. She helped me understand and come to terms with what I suffered through and endured. And she helped me understand that it won't just go away. Everyday can be a challenge. But you just need to be strong enough to get through it and learn from it. And most of all to rely on Heavenly Father to carry you through.
People don't like to hear of child abuse, but I was abused. And I had to cope with it. Learn from it. I suffered from other peoples agency. They chose. I was affected. Our choices effect others. People argue that if there was a God, he wouldn't let us suffer in that way. But the truth is, Heavenly Father will never impede on your agency. He will heal you if you're broken, He will give your life meaning and most of all; he will make you strong.
I was abused as a child, but I am not a victim. I refuse to be. My family made me strong. My family is my strength. How blessed am I! I could let my past define me in the worst ways. But I chose not too. I choose to let it define me in the best ways. In ways that would make my daughter proud. My family has given me hope. My parents taught me so many things, and continue to teach me. My mother tells me every single year happy anniversary. She's never forgotten, and she'll never forget me. Its the best feeling in the world. Two words. Happy anniversary. And I am whole.
I have such a handsome father.
I finally have the man of my dreams. Thanks mom and dad.