Saturday, September 20, 2014
I had a "friend" tell me a few months ago that getting married and having children so young had made it so that I was in a cookie cutter mold of a life and that I hadn't really lived. It's taken me some time to come up with a response to this. Because of my strong feelings. And here is what I have to say... You are dead wrong. I have lived. I have never known more love for a person then my time spent as a mother and a wife. I have held a newborn in my arms and have become irrevocably in love. I have learned the true meaning of sacrifice. And the untold rewards of it. I weep more often now because my heart is in my hands. I am softer and kinder and not as selfish or worried about what others see me as. I have learned to give. And expect nothing. Marrying when I did has helped me live in a way that nothing else has. By experiencing everyday with the man I adore. Good, bad or in between we are together. What does it matter if I go travel the world. But have no one to see or tell about it. What does it matter if I "live " in your sense of the meaning but never find the meaning of life. You may think that I have wasted my life away by making these decisions but I am telling you I have not. Because I am full of life. My heart aches when my children are hurt. I feel everything they go through. I can empathize or sympathize with a complete stranger. You say I'm in a mold of a life. Every step planned out. But everyday for me is an adventure. I learn. I grow. I rejoice in my family. In the end it won't matter what I've seen or where I have been what will matter is if I lived. And being a mother and a wife I have done that. I am doing that. Because living how I am has changed me. Life is bigger. Life is beautiful and wonderful. I see the world and I am enthralled by it. But I only became so because I had people to share it with. Telling my daughter about animals and seeing the joy in her eyes when she saw a panda for the first time made my heart burst. To you I say I am wide awake and full of life. Because I have children. I want them to see the beauty of the world. And I have the privelege of teaching them about it. I have passion and love in my life that don't come by my hand alone. I have my husband. So if I am a cookie cutter of a mold and I haven't truly lived why am I so ALIVE. Answer me that.